new poem

There are times I wouldn't mind

getting lost in thought

drabbles/dabbles

lost in the dark

I used to be that girl

serious relationships

heart on my sleeve

Now I know better

than to ever give

away a piece of me.

I'll be damned If i let

another man

make a fool out of me

These times are rough

he called my bluff

but i was quick with my upper hand

It was easy for me to snip the ties

I'm getting pretty good

at telling lies

Shit I was never expecting

your little face book horde

should of never attached myself

might as well cut my own damn umbilical cord

All it said and done.

I just never imagined.

How quickly you'd run.

-meh sorry i'll revise later.

Quarter is done

So I finally walked out of my advanced 2d animation with a sense of defeat.

Not only did I not finish strongly, Amy looked disappointed.

Matter of fact I know she was, because I was as well. I mean I look at the stuff I did this year and I could have just as easily mistaken myself for someone in their 1st or 2nd quarter.

Its actually kind of embarrassing and I wish I could go back REPEAT the quarter do things ahead of time and put school ahead of other inane priorities like facebook.

I am addicted; its a problem and I think that next quarter i'll just stop going on it as much and focus on you know..getting myself a job? CAREER.

I feel underwhelmed by myself and I think thats where my biggest failure lies.

I failed one class last quarter and I pray to God I dont fail one this quarter.

Step it up becca.

anew?

I think i've lost my spiritual side--in so many ways.

I know that I am uber sensitive to what goes on around me and because of my job I have to block it off.

Block it out.

Block what other people think out and it comes back to me at the oddest moments. When I'm drunk.. In a conversation.

I read to much into things and it burns me at night.

When I lay down and I reflect.

I have a beautiful life with beautiful friends.

and im without a man and this seems to cancel out everything i've worked for.

I was so happy just trudging along, working my ass off and going to school.

I seriously feel as though i've been brainwashed.

A frenemie posted on my facebook about posting sadness on my wall..

She's right.

because deep down inside im a sad little girl and i'm watching my mom leave.

I'm caught in time and I cant rescue my 15 year old self.

Why is she so traumitized?

I keep wanting to blame my mother for something I know I can fix.

Dont get me wrong.. Living lower middle class isn't that bad..but ..

I dont know what to call this one yet;

The eyes indeed gaze;

and I laugh partially at myself and at you.

I circle no prey;

I no longer wonder if I did

because I did

The woods are quiet now with only the thumping of my heart keeping me sane

I lie in this late bed blasting fiona apple because "what if" became "when it happened."

I meshed lips with a network of supersonic electro punk steamed inspired scientific astro pumping phenomenons that took me to the heavens. I clashed with titans and made it home in time for work--

Dont call me weak--I've got a wicked tongue and an allure you can really seem to stop looking.

I make hikkimori's open doors, bath and put down that j-pop.

I'm ecstatic.

a fanatic and a damn good roleplayer to boot. Less you want to know who i am, you better be a renaissance man. I wont settle for less so let it be known.

Words to me are as valuable as a lost pearl earring.

If you want my hand, you better be a damn gentleman.

I got a best friend just ask her

and maybe.

I'll let you be my haxxor.