I suppose in the future i'll look back at these and wince.
Wince at the bluntness of my emotions and the inner turmoil I had put myself through in the most ridiculous fashion.
I wrote a terrible poem the other day of the ice kings that i've dated.
Cold to the touch and even colder to hold.
I thought I might of broken this touched curse but I might be wrong. He was also sick but I am going to ease up and love myself first. I need to save a bit at a time and stabilize myself so that I can finally help my family.
Nothing to good comes at 1:46 at night but I pray someone somewhere feels as stupid as I do when he doesn't text back. When one simple question is left hung in the air and I feel like a fool for asking it.
Was it too much to ask someone I had barely met to wish me happy birthday? Absolutely.
Was it stupid to assume that someone who was ready to jump my bones to not drop off the face of the earth ? Definitely.
I am running into a pattern of heady sexual men who actively seek me out and then vanish once the pot warms up.
If only I could tell myself to not kiss them.. let them have a taste of me.
and it isn't always sex; In fact I did not. The first date got heated and well here I am.
I am lucky; I got to spend the day with people that cared about me but it's also a stinging reminder that I am single when everyone in Seattle seems to be making milestones in their life.
I need to disappear for a while.
Just go somewhere else and be someone else for a while and maybe then i'll get my shit together?
The new me begins soon and she's not taking any more shit.
She deserves better and a good head on her shoulders.
