i feel;

like the most useless being on the planet right now.

bitchassness at work.

and at home.

I dont know how to deal well with passive aggressiveness; is there a manual?

this is probably why I dont date females. Good Lord, if you are jealous say so. dont post "pity me" things on my status.

Bad move kid

I stared at the new picture in disbelief

a rush of air pushed out from my stomach;

AM I THE ONLY EX WHO HAS NOT GOTTEN WITH SOMEONE NEW YET?

flushed with envy i clicked out;

then back in staring at his smug face and his adorable..yet chubby girlfriend.

fuck my life.

David too? Mother fucker is MARRIED.

what.the.fuck?!

I need to give out love.. to recieve love.

and im just a big ball of envy.. and i need to fucking quit it.

let go of the past.

let.go.of.the.past.

I feel like I cant say what i need to say

I feel like I cant tell you that I dont like you.

I feel like I cant breathe.

I dont.

like.

you.

There-- if you cant take being platonic then gtfo.

I wish i could stop crying.

over a boy who has long since forgotten about me.

Over a BOY.

Dilemma;

I dont always make time for people.

I dont have time to.

No really; unless you're willing to get your ass up like me at 6 am and make things work out im not gunna tug on the reins.

I need work to keep me sane;

and school to keep me working;

I need time right now to say "nah im good." and just sit alone and draw because my intrapersonal relationships (Aside from coworkers/business.) Isnt going to get me a job.

I want to seem driven without coming off as a bitch but its harder than it sounds.

I love you-- but Becca's gotta get her ass in gear.

I wont forget about you..but baby you gotta let me grow.

rabs

I got nothing;

lately i open a little tablet and have nothing to write because it all seems to just ..resonante anger.

or some type of frustration that I'm still working to get out of me..

partially because ..of everything.

I dont really want to do anything except hibernate because its so fucking cold lately.

no really, its fucking freezy and 49 degrees plus intense pacific coast wind chills is enough to make anyone shiver.

Whatever;

as of late homework has been all that important so im gunna get this out of the way.

Its rough with alot of my friends not being in school;

because I have to sometimes tell them I cannot take the night off since I still am in enrolled.

In a proffession that I have to work my ass off in or I wont get a foot in the door.

I love it there.

As Cozy as it may be.

More later I suppose.. i've had no "me" time.