anew?

I think i've lost my spiritual side--in so many ways.

I know that I am uber sensitive to what goes on around me and because of my job I have to block it off.

Block it out.

Block what other people think out and it comes back to me at the oddest moments. When I'm drunk.. In a conversation.

I read to much into things and it burns me at night.

When I lay down and I reflect.

I have a beautiful life with beautiful friends.

and im without a man and this seems to cancel out everything i've worked for.

I was so happy just trudging along, working my ass off and going to school.

I seriously feel as though i've been brainwashed.

A frenemie posted on my facebook about posting sadness on my wall..

She's right.

because deep down inside im a sad little girl and i'm watching my mom leave.

I'm caught in time and I cant rescue my 15 year old self.

Why is she so traumitized?

I keep wanting to blame my mother for something I know I can fix.

Dont get me wrong.. Living lower middle class isn't that bad..but ..

I dont know what to call this one yet;

The eyes indeed gaze;

and I laugh partially at myself and at you.

I circle no prey;

I no longer wonder if I did

because I did

The woods are quiet now with only the thumping of my heart keeping me sane

I lie in this late bed blasting fiona apple because "what if" became "when it happened."

I meshed lips with a network of supersonic electro punk steamed inspired scientific astro pumping phenomenons that took me to the heavens. I clashed with titans and made it home in time for work--

Dont call me weak--I've got a wicked tongue and an allure you can really seem to stop looking.

I make hikkimori's open doors, bath and put down that j-pop.

I'm ecstatic.

a fanatic and a damn good roleplayer to boot. Less you want to know who i am, you better be a renaissance man. I wont settle for less so let it be known.

Words to me are as valuable as a lost pearl earring.

If you want my hand, you better be a damn gentleman.

I got a best friend just ask her

and maybe.

I'll let you be my haxxor.

i feel;

like the most useless being on the planet right now.

bitchassness at work.

and at home.

I dont know how to deal well with passive aggressiveness; is there a manual?

this is probably why I dont date females. Good Lord, if you are jealous say so. dont post "pity me" things on my status.

Bad move kid

I stared at the new picture in disbelief

a rush of air pushed out from my stomach;

AM I THE ONLY EX WHO HAS NOT GOTTEN WITH SOMEONE NEW YET?

flushed with envy i clicked out;

then back in staring at his smug face and his adorable..yet chubby girlfriend.

fuck my life.

David too? Mother fucker is MARRIED.

what.the.fuck?!

I need to give out love.. to recieve love.

and im just a big ball of envy.. and i need to fucking quit it.

let go of the past.

let.go.of.the.past.

I feel like I cant say what i need to say

I feel like I cant tell you that I dont like you.

I feel like I cant breathe.

I dont.

like.

you.

There-- if you cant take being platonic then gtfo.

I wish i could stop crying.

over a boy who has long since forgotten about me.

Over a BOY.