Desert.

"You deserve better" She smiled at me, one of the most beautiful girls I know and I shied away from her warmth.Clearing my throat I nodded my head like I knew, like I totally kne-- I had no fucking clue.
I had no clue that I did because I dont know if I did and If I tried to explain I did we would be in a whole mess of my selfish insecurities.

She is beautiful and in that moment she saw me for what I was and to another person this might seem silly but I cloaked my pride for a moment and held onto myself wondering what can I do to show her that I appreciate her compliment and yet hate myself all at once?

I'm not a tortured soul, I don't claim myself to be but sitting here at 1 am yet again not knowing quite how to take a compliment, well girly. This might just be it.

I ran my fingers through my hair when we passed by a cute man on howell street, his eyes averted back to the friend he was speaking with and I had to laugh at a joke that my friends told behind me.

Eyes forward, hips rotating to the motion of my footing and in that moment I felt bad ass.
fingers through hair again I brave 60 degree weather in a dress and a wrap hoping to God I wont get sick.

Most importantly were my insecure hands, fiddling with the bangles on my arms and praying to some light that they wouldn't stare and see. They would be able to only make out the color of my dress and not the warm cheeks that threatened to show when the lights were brought back up.

We walked, trees on the pavement fallen like autumn. Her shoes clicked softly and we swayed to the beat of conversations that can only escalate to the stars.

"You really need to stop doing this to yourself.." She said with concern in her voice, her eyes honest and I listened. Not because I couldn't help myself but because for whatever reason she saw the beauty in me.