After copious amounts of sex and the city and copious amounts of caffeine my body is shaky but willing to see this assignment through.
Finals are looming and after tomorrow it will be week 8. Week rendering they should call it because my nerves are already shot even though my lighting and models are in place.
I dont think i've mentioned before but I do some 3d work. I'm worried about portfolio quality and with some set backs on my own account its been rough trying to stay positive when even you doubt yourself.
It's funny that in the long the biggest competitor you'll ever have is yourself. I've always been forced to adapt to situations that cause me to panic. That cause me to doubt, hate and recycle those feelings but now i'm beginning to understand that I can get mad, I can dwell, I can scream and fight for once and try not to harbor all that shit inside of me as much.
So long that I understand that its MY problem and thats how it's going to be. People may be concerned but I will be the end result of what those trials are when they're put in front of me.
Okay! I'm beginning to sound a little cliche' so with that said this week has been..pleasant at best. My heart is leaping out of my chest and hobbling around to see if it can find a potential and i keep batting at it like Shanda at the Cat's with a swiffer. Outside is alive and booming and even now I can hear the drunks stumbling to their apartments ready to pray to a porcelain God and giggling like five year old girls with secrets.
Intimately I etch most of the details out here in a blog or a poem hoping to my God that I wont forget what it was like to be this age. My parents gave me diaries but I was never able to record my life quite like this.. most of this being for my sake.
Ah yes, in Seattle a enormous joke revolving around the rapture was brought up. I was at work til 8 o clock at night so being that I would of hypothetically died at 6 would of been..kinda sucky. Die at work? no lusty love making? no kisses? God that is not a way I wanted to go out.
Aha-- anyhow, I suppose I ought to end this blog and begin some real homework. It's already one am and I figure i'll work til about two before i wake up and have my maya-thon.
Au revoir kids!
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