Christ-- you have so much more time when you're not chained to an inatimate website. It's nice finding out information through word of mouth and hell, its even more amazing when you..I dont know. Step outside. ha! Well admittedly there hasn't been too much of that considering i've been roughing it through finals...though admittedly my attention span has widened, I've gotten more done in four hours than i have in the last 42 when I was allowed to click through multiple profiles and refreshrefreshrefresh.
So as far as what i've been up to? School and Work mostly. I do not exaggerate the majority of time that I spend away from those two things is alone. I definitely have grown used to the idea that its harder for me to concentrate when I have friends around. Which is part of the reason for most of my isolation. I cant get work done if I'm too busy worry about entertaining that person/filling in the silence/ ignoring them and so on. Admitting that to myself has been the hardest part being that..I sort of miss my friends.
My room mates have been awesome and supportive about it. I told bethany that Tuesday night if she wouldn't mind changing my password and my email notifications so that in no way would I be recieving any type of messages about who commented on what. I deleted the application from my phone and even took it off of my message section so that there would be no way that I could even remotely try to log on. (I was trying to be hardcore about this.)
So then on from Day 1 i've been filling in those social gaps with light coffee trips and sleeping in. Though admittedly I have been checking my phone still when I wake up.. I'll have to work on that. Its harder I think to give up my cell more than anything but knowing that I have already gone 15 days leaves me with a bit of triumph and more so a teensy bit out of the loop. I guess since most people get their info via facebook its no wonder that if someone asks me about their post on their wall that I should be able to answer with an ample "YES!"
I dont know whether its mostly because im a bit more encumbered than usual or its just that they miss me as well but I feel like every answer I give is the wrong one. I miss them, if I could of gone out last saturday or been able to celebrate the spring equinox with my room mate I would probably be happier--but also, academically I would suffer.
School is all I have so that I can make a better life for myself. If I get my shoe in, if I network, if I work hard do the bull shit retail job thing. Cry a little bit and struggle, I know I can make this in. (ew, inspirational story much?)
Anyhow-- There was something that caught my eye yesterday that made me so happy I got a little ferkleft. There was a chubbier little guy at my store, I wasn't as pleasant to him as I was to some other kids. He was louder, a bit more irritating and pushy. ..but No matter how awful I was to him he still bought several candy for his other friends. He was generous enough to use his points so that he could get his friends something. My heart melted a little bit since I had been a minimal jerk and he was nice to me regardless. Immediately I thought of Russell from Up! and I knew I had to lay off. I didnt apologize, but my grumpy mood was lifted because of a Kid. It definitely made my face melt a little bit with happiness..
In all truth, though the truth may get you reprimanded, fired and definitely in trouble. Working with kids is both frustrating and eye opening.
This just happened to be both of those times.
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