it sort of snuck up on me and on a friday no less.
I suppose like any other sap I should be reflecting on what i've learned; To be honest it has been quite a bit. My reliance on anything other than my phone and my voice as a social crutch has got to stop. There are other more reliable ways to get a hold of people and to express myself.
I have to quit running away from my responsibilities especially if they're on the computer. Happy fun time can wait if there is a project due. I've never been bad about playing games when I have finals but the best lesson I think i've learned thus far is giving myself more time to sleep or rest. Which oddly enough has plenty to do with having an all access pass to everybody's "Bizness" online. If I'm tired, if my body has had enough what is the point of checking status updates when I could be spending that time resting? Or better yet having that energy to wake up the next day so I can actually do something with my life prior to class. Like all good things sometimes we need a break and I think mentally its what I needed.
I would be sort of a liar if I said that in my 23 years I havent made an enemy or two (believe me I have. ) but being able to a.) not see any posts related to my step family and b.) not giving a good hot DAMN has given me incentive not to meddle and at least blanketed my eyes when I'm going through enough stress as-is. Point being; I worry about what doesn't concern me and in a way being able to take a step back from a social network that isn't so "social." has helped me refocus on myself before I got sick.
*As I've mentioned Facebook wasn't the problem I was.
I was :
- facebook stalking exes
- stalking my exes gfs
- stalking my exes potential gfs
- people I dont even talk to
- looking at people im not even friends with
- checking out profiles of people I clearly dislike
and then it occured to me. WHY? why am I doing this ? There's no point to it and its not like its making me feel good. It's making me feel like a sneaky sneak with nothing else to do.
Bump that! I've got this beautiful life to live with sunshine and mother fucking rainbows.
In a way its nice to know its still there.
but in a way its tempting, my finger reflex is still aching to press "f" but I can wait on it. I got twenty days to go and more time for me. After Saturday I will officially be on a week's worth of break for moi! That means tons of hang out time, tons of getting taken care of time and tons of no-eating-meat-on-friday times.
Aside from giving up cursing I dont remember if i've ever been this dedicated to giving up something. Feels like a giant purge from being so reliant on one thing.
So regardless of how much caffeine i've been having because of finals I still feel sane, less stressed and a tad bit hungry.
(K.P. promised an Omelette.)
All my love,
Rabs
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